I never realized how critical people can be about tattoo's. Whether you have one, have had, or would never - it all means or meant something at the end of the day. I have a few I've always wanted and of course ones I regret having. But would I change having it tattooed on my body? No. Never! Because behind every tattoo there's a story. One may keep those stories hidden all their life and one may tell it whenever someone were to ask. Me, I don't say unless asked. And for this particular post, I want to share with you why I decided to tell my story.
My mom and I had an argument earlier today. I guess she saw online that I had yet again, another tattoo. It wouldn't have mattered if she just asked me in simple words, Why do you have these sort of things engraved on your body? Instead, she proceeded to tell me that I don't respect her, when is it going to be enough, and how could I hurt her so much. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect my mom. If it weren't for her, I LITERALLY wouldn't be where I am today. I appreciate her so much and whenever I get the chance to express that to anyone for that matter, I do. But she will never understand this.
I don't want to go too into depth about my life story. So per piece, I'll explain enough for you to understand. And those that know me will finally understand the art on my body. Good? Great!
Love - La Vie
Basic, right? I have these words across my wrists for one reason and one reason only. I went through major anxiety, stress, and ultimately I felt like I wasn't good enough. I attempted to take my life at the age of 17. Although I had great friends and a roof over my head, I still had this mentality that whatever I do was never good enough. This was also during the time that my parents split up. At the age of 17, you would think I would have been able to cope with what was going on in my life. But sometimes people do tend to dig themselves so low that at some point you look up and can no longer see the top. After failed attempts, I managed to get help. Not professionally, but through better relationships with old friends and my siblings. It was a mentality that I had to cope with myself. And although it would have been easier that I told my parents and got professional help. I see it now that pushing through this only made me stronger. I got into hobbies like working out, running, writing in my journal, and being around uplifting people. Grew old friendships with friends I stopped talking too after I moved. And at some point, I forgot about how much I hated myself, my self-worth, or anything within those lines. How I ended up coping with it, I couldn't tell you. It honestly seems like a big blur to me now, but I won't lie, it lingers in me and probably will for the rest of my life.
Lilies & Parents
I have an ancient back tattoo with Rowena Venancio & Anselmo Jr. Monton across 2 huge lilies. I mean, it's pretty self explanatory. This was when my parents split up. I put my moms maiden name on me because a part of her should have never been forgotten. My favorite flowers are lilies, and yeah. That's basically it for that one. I decided to keep it the way it looked after the first session because it was the end of their relationship, no more touch up, no need to fix anything.
09.24.95 | 04.18.87
My siblings birthday's. Again, very self explanatory. Why I got it on my chest was so that it was close to my heart. We all got tattoo's that represented our relationship with one another. And this one was mine!
Infinite > Owl > Arrow > Clock > Script > MY WHOLE ARM PIECE
I got an Infinite tattoo on the back of my arm which matches a tattoo with an old friend. We became friends in Jr. High all throughout until I moved in Grade 10 to another high school, we reconnected when I was 18 and became the best of friends until the age of 22-23. I'm not going too much into depth about this one in particular because till this day, it does bring back way too many hardships and emotional anxiety I choose to no longer resurface. But, overall the reason for the word "infinite" was because throughout the time that I've known her, our friendship had no explanation other than the fact that it was easily reconnected, easily understood, and passionately everlasting (or so we thought). I ended up making the decision to create a piece surrounding that one word with art that could tell a story. I got an owl due to an old tale of ancient Athena history where she once had an owl as her third eye. One that presented her wisdom, truth, and loyalty. All of which I morally needed and could easily understand when my life itself turned around. The arrow splits through infinite to explain that although our friendship revolved around that one word, I knew deep down, it wasn't true, and it was time to move on. The clock represents time (duh!), but what I wanted it to represent was all of those great times I can easily remember as a memory where time stood still and made sense. The script reads: "Then she smiles, like it's the first time she's seen sun after a decade of winters". I got that when I was a year into my relationship with Ronnie. This again I won't get too into, but basically, I changed my perspective on not only how I viewed myself, but the people around me. I became more appreciative, more aware, and ultimately more self independent. Being able to see how Ronnie went on with his life with not much of a plan caught me off guard. He's always been very to himself, ridiculously humbling, and genuinely kind. I've never heard him speak wrong about anyone or curse out to the life he was given. And ultimately, that changed me. The rest are more or less fillers. I have the 4 roses to represent my family, I have the mandala that represents completeness and self-unity and what I'm hoping to finish with is something that can symbolize a part of my life that shows self respect, peace, and love. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it soon!
Anyways, that's about it regarding what's behind my tattoo's - I know after reading this you may think I'm crazy, but... This is me, my body, my choice. And for you guys who think tattoo's are regretful, disrespectful, and ugly. Please try to keep those comments to yourself and maybe get to know the person behind the tattoos because you never know what they went through, where they've been, and what stories they've kept along the way.