I've always been the girl who would tell everyone that one day I would leave my hometown and never come back. I hated living in Winnipeg. I hated the cold winters, the stench of Downtown, the on-going pot holes, everything. So when I had the chance to finally set out and really find where I wanted to live, I chose somewhere that was so far away it would be hard for people to visit me. When I think about it now, I question why I even remotely thought that way - Why was I so desperate to leave a place where I was loved by great people? But all said and done, I am truly in a happier place, and being away from home made me appreciate my hometown a lot more than I once had. I've learned to understand the true meaning of friendship, not only that, but I was able to set foot into a new "chapter" in my life where all the choices that I've made up to this day, was no other than my own.
Because I'm here visiting Winnipeg for a week, I've had the chance to take a step back and see what everyone has been up too since we last visited. I had mentally prepared myself because I knew my friends that I was once so close with would no longer be at my doorstep every other day. I also knew that as difficult it was going to be for me, I had to understand, regardless of the excuses or other priorities.
I attempted to move about 3 times before it actually happened. First couple of times I didn't have the proper money saved up, and the third was because one of my good friends had confronted me when I had told them the good news. It was one of the hardest years of my life. Getting into a completely new relationship, being separated from my sister, and controlling my stress level from work, school, and "friends". Anyway, this friend had asked me one simple question, "Are you moving for the right reasons?" And at the time, I told him, "Yeah, because I lost majority of my friends, because I'm not welcomed here, and because I need to get the f*** away from here". And right there and then he knew my emotions were taking control of my choices. The funny thing about that conversation was I tried so hard to mute him out. I didn't want to hear what he had to say because I knew he was right. But it definitely caught me off guard. I thought I had lost all source of genuine, loving people. But here I was making a pretty drastic change in my life without realizing that there are people like him who are still emotionally there with me throughout a difficult time. And yet, I wanted to leave them.
It took me another year and a half to finally get my mentality back on track. To finally leave with the right intentions. I thank my friend for taking the time to talk me out of what could have been a disaster. And although I still decided to move a year after, I know I left with a full heart.
Anyway, this post was intended to explain that moving away ain't easy. But it's definitely worth it. Cut the crap and take a hold of your decisions without anyone getting in the way. Everyone has to go through heartache and difficult situations. But I truly believe that there are always different routes on how to tackle it to ultimately be happy with your choice in the end. Don't take those who surround you with love for granted. Accept and appreciate where you're from and always remember that home will be home regardless where you end up.