On The Move
Well.. That was short-lived!
Ron and I moved... Once again! And back to our common grounds. Corydon! It only took 1-week of living out in Oak Bluff to figure we couldn't do it. I had my doubts from the beginning knowing how my relationship was in the past with my mom. I was skeptical and honestly had high hopes that things would be different now that a decade had gone by. But, that wasn't the case. I don't blame anyone and I'm trying my best not to blame myself. I have to look at this with a positive outcome, and just move on from all of it once and for all.
For those that are probably wondering why we moved so suddenly, here's the short story. It was a Sunday where it marked exactly 1-week of us living with my mom & her partner, Elmer. They sat me down and said they wanted to talk about where my life was going. They were concerned about my lifestyle, about my relationship with Ronnie, and ultimately where it was leading. They wondered why I had gone this far into my relationship with him and whether it was worth it. I couldn't help but listen to them as they provoked my decisions. Half the time I nodded, said that I understood where they were coming from, and that I was going to consider what they said. That night, when I spoke to R about it, he was devasted. I personally would be too knowing how far we've come to make that exact decision to move. We were wanting to head somewhere in our relationship and given that we had the opportunity to save some money being at my mom's, we took it, and unfortunately, learned quickly that it was a mistake.
The next day, he searched for a new place for us to stay. We couldn't face the fact that this was how they felt and honestly, we were uncomfortable. It felt like we invaded their space, we knew how they felt about us being together, and we just knew we couldn't stay there for a year, heck - even another day. So for the whole week after, we would leave for work/school, take the dogs to my sisters, and spend our days with her and V. We can't thank them enough for being so supportive, for hanging out with us until late at night, late enough for us to go home and not have to face my mom & uncle because they went to bed. That Wednesday after, we sat down with them and told them we were moving out Friday. And that was that.
Us in our New Home
Having to explain this to our closest family and friends wasn't actually as hard as I thought because I knew we had a strong support system. It wasn't the matter of them telling us or advising us to see how it goes, but them telling us that what we were doing was right, getting out while it was still early, was best for the both of us.
For those reading and who have gone through the same situation, seriously - Props to you. Having parents that are so "black & white", culturally incapable of understanding that it's not JUST about working a 9-5, it's not JUST about having the man provide for the woman, and it's NOT okay to decide for their children who they can and cannot see/date. Especially at my age where I can make those decisions for myself. If it's a mistake in the long run, it'll be my OWN mistake and one that I'll have to learn from. You would think that they can trust that their parenting all these years had paid off. That I am who I am because of them, that I can be independently capable to live and support myself, and that I don't need a man to do it for me. And let me tell you, R has gone over and beyond helping me. Supporting me when I wanted to go back to school, moving with me to Calgary to experience being out in a different province. He's worked all his life, and when he finally found something he was interested in and realized he could go to school for it, we made that happen. For once, it was for him. And I couldn't be any more proud to be by his side and support him through that. I know that this is just the beginning for him - He's so good at what he does and the fashion industry will soon learn that as well.
Regardless of anyone's situation, you have to go and set your goals and expectations of how you want your life to be without your parents blindsiding you from knowing what's best. Because I can guarantee, you will regret that later, you'll regret not knowing what could have been if you just listened to what you wanted and not what they think is best for you. Set your own goals and achieve them as best as you possibly can. And, if you have a partner that wants the same, you're one lucky person.
I honestly can't thank my friends & family enough, those that helped us move out in 1-day, being there and listening to me vent, and checking in to see how we were doing. You guys (you know who you are) are our core. Ron and I would not be where we are today without you guys. We love you.
Until next time.