As most of you guys know... Ronnie and I created a vlog of us surprising our family back in Winnipeg. At the end of that vlog, we announced some "BIG" news which left our loved ones excited, and the both of us extremely happy. Here's the video:
Sorry if you were thinking we got engaged or I was pregnant. That would have a been an awesome way to surprise everyone, but honestly, we just wanted to be super extra. Anyways, I wanted to share a few major difficulties Ron and I have gone through thus far as we reach closer to our big move.
1. Finances & Current Agreements
When we first moved here, we were so lucky to have help from my mom. She's basically the reason why we were able to be financially stable out here before finding actual jobs. She paid for our first month of groceries, our new mattress and frame, and had given us enough money to last us at least two more months. I knew 100% that we weren't going to be able to live off of what we saved before moving. God Bless My Mother.
Living away from family has taught us the virtue of independence. Being incapable of finding Full-Time employment has been my biggest obstacle. I landed a great Administrative job that I kept for a year until I decided to go back to school. So I stuck with my minimum wage job with about 15-20 hours a week, which ultimately did nothing for us.
When dealing with such high stress to make ends meet and trying to maintain a healthy relationship. You can't do anything but feel useless, desperate, and uninspired. Dealing with money itself was a whole other ordeal that consistently bothered me for months. Ron and I lost communication, we barely talked about our situation which eventually climaxed to unnecessary arguments.
It was up until we decided that it be best I moved a lot sooner to settle in and work Full-Time back home. We decided that although we aren't where we want to be with our finances, we are to work on it together and allow ourselves to be motivated because of it so that we can create a better lifestyle for ourselves and our family. It was definitely time to see the bigger picture and realize that it was time to save for a better future.
2. Communication & Arguments
Being able to communicate and understand each other has been another obstacle. You would think couples talk to each other all time regarding things that bother one another. But Ron and I had difficulty expressing ourselves throughout some time, maybe it was to avoid another argument or because we thought it wasn't really a big matter. Regardless, it eventually lead to many things being bottled up which never worked in our favor. Prior to deciding when we should move, I was going through a lot of personal things. I chose not to talk about what was really going on with me. And like I've mentioned before, I am an over-thinker - So at some point, it rushed through me until I could no longer hold onto my fake optimistic personality.
Communication is very important for a relationship. You need to be able to open up and express all of what you're feeling even if you know it sounds absurd in your head. One thing I learned throughout this whole process was to always make time for each other. We're always so busy on our own individual thing; working majority of our day, and planning dates with our friends that we neglected to allow time for each other. It's important to have these conversations and I think it's healthy to argue once in a while so that we can find a median. There's nothing better than being on the same page with your partner.
We're going on 5 years in August. And we're still working hard on learning about each other, communicating, and allowing ourselves to be open-minded. It's a working progress, but definitely an obstacle we're tackling together.
3. Our "WHY"?
We've contemplated our move since early December 2017. Why should we move back? Why shouldn't we? What was the point of moving to Calgary? Why?
At some point, we learned that we owed no one an explanation. But we knew that people were going to ask anyways. If anything, we owed it to ourselves to know the main reason why we wanted to be out here, and what it took to feel the need to move back. Moving to Calgary was our first big step in our relationship. We wanted to find our own adventure without the noise of our past. We wanted to do our own thing and grow individually as we visioned our future together. Along the way, we realized that our future together was to never to be away from our family and friends, but to be closer to them and grow together.
We grew up and learned that in order to get our lives going, we wanted to do it in a growing city, one that we'll always call home. We were tired of missing another event, another gathering, and another day away from those who needed us. It was time to make the decision to continue to pursue our goals back home. Our "why" is our family and friends, and our "why" is learning and being educated in a more cultural stand-point, one that we hope to help grow to be better than it once was. We still want to help the communities, create awareness, and promote a lifestyle that helps our future generations. We're overcoming such a big obstacle and we're really excited to do something far greater than what our intentions were prior to moving to Calgary. We want to be surrounded by family who won't stomp on our dreams and support us through it all. It's scary yet so thrilling and - We're ready.