Settling Into Being Alone

We're coming close to our 2-month mark living here on Corydon Ave. I honestly forgot how it felt living on our own, in our own space, just the two of us. Although I do miss hanging out with my sister every day and I am not the best at being alone, I've been managing and taking it in one day at a time.


I've always loved living close to busy streets, it never bothered me to hear cars driving by or random groups of friends walking home from a pub just around the corner. Hearing people cheer from right outside our window when Italy won to being out of eggs and being able to run across the street to the local grocery store. It's always the environment of where I live that makes it for me and I think it'll always be. We have such a quaint little space but it feels just right for us, and I couldn't be any happier.


Although I've been living on my own for a long time now, I forgot what it was like to be ON my own, without anyone else to depend on to do anything. Ronnie's been extremely busy having to juggle school and work, so I've been trying my best to make sure things are done around the apartment. It makes me feel better knowing that when he comes home from a 14 hour day, food is ready for him, and we can relax for the last hour before I have to head to bed.


That being said, I have been spending a lot of my time 'alone'. So I thought I'd share a few interesting things that I had lost sight of until now, what I feel had brought me back to speed on being an actual adult (since I felt like I was living in a frat house this whole time lol), and how I've been managing my time since we've moved.



Omg, I have to cook?


3 years living with Jeni truly had its perks. We all had our own set of responsibilities and it was pretty easy because we dealt with things we were all good at. Cooking has never been my forte. I am not the best at it and if you've ever tasted my cooking, you would understand! Jeni ALWAYS had food on the table, she loves to be in the kitchen. Since she's vegetarian, it allowed the household to try out new vegetarian recipes which ultimately reduced the number of animal produce we ate. It was great. But now that we're on our own, I have to learn how to cook (again). I have to definitely work on making more vegetarian recipes but other than that, I think I'm doing pretty good, to say the least!


Our Family

I probably say this a lot, but holy crap, how can I be this in love? I know it's super corny, but I swear, this feeling is just different. I know that because Ron and I have been in very similar situations when we first started dating. It honestly helped keep our spark, knowing there were people out there that didn't totally agree with us being together. The only difference is that now we're grown up and we're learning more about each other every single day. Things we just naturally do now that maybe we weren't so comfortable doing before. Our relationship doesn't necessarily make sense. But I think that's why it's so unique. Just having this apartment and going through the notion of making ends meet, keeping this type of spark even with everything going on, and just allowing ourselves to be open about random possibilities. It's taken me some time to really be okay with where we are in our relationship. Seeing others that we know getting engaged, buying houses, having kids, was all nuisance to me. But now, I just feel content with it all. I'm not going to lie, I had a plan in mind and although I know for a fact that's kind of out the door, I can genuinely say that I'm okay with it. And that when it's our turn, we'll make the best of it.



White Noise & The Art Of Being Alone


Like I mentioned earlier, I'm not the best at being alone. I'm one to overthink and sometimes when that gets the best of me, it's hard for me to recover from it. I always feel so pressed for time, and lately, it's honestly gotten worse. Feeling like I'm losing out on time that I can't get back, yet 80% of that time is wasted of me just thinking about it, dwelling over random scenarios in my head that just repeats over and over again. I realized though, that part of me will always be there. Stressing over it, letting it get the best of me, will only let it win. So for the past few weeks now, I've been almost... Re-teaching myself. Learning to adapt to a more independent lifestyle. I personally think it's important to feel comfortable being alone. It helps me focus on myself and on what's important. I've had time to dwell over how much weight I've gained, then took advantage of it by making better 'health' choices, took the time to rediscover my passion for writing again, and ultimately just spent more time being present around my dogs, trying out new recipes in the kitchen, and catching up on TV shows.

Take it as you will, allowing yourself to feel that sense of loneliness, but in a good way, will either make you or break you. Seek out help when needed, and take that time for yourself. Because that time is absolutely needed.

 

I know right? How could I have reflected this much in less than 2 months and come to conclusion on those 3 points? Like I said, I have A LOT of time on my hands, lol. I figured that I share what I felt and hope that some of you could relate. Now that we're finally getting out of covid and we can start seeing our friends and family again, I'll hopefully have more content to give, more to write about, more to discover. So, until next time!


Jree.





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